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Church Leadership

Dealing with Difficult People

By Dr. Richard J. Krejcir
Are being unreasonable? A lot of people are unreasonable-even Christians. We will run into people who will just not get it; they will not listen, deal, resolve, or handle things God's way. They only want their way or the highway.
Are being unreasonable?
1 Samuel 24:1-22; Psalm 10; 37; Isaiah 59:1-2; Matthew 5:48; Luke 6:27-31; Romans 3:23; 6:23; 12:14-21; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 12:6; 1 Peter 2:12 -19; 3:15b-16


For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 1 Peter 2:19


A lot of people are unreasonable-even Christians. We will run into people who will just not get it; they will not listen, deal, resolve, or handle things God's way. They only want their way or the highway. Some people have hard hearts and are unwilling or unable, due to personality defects or chemical imbalances, to see another as God's child. They only see it for themselves. This is very sad and there is not much you can do with them. They are the ones who will be lonely and bitter because that is what they want. We are still called to pray and minister to them, but it is best not to take their attacks personally. 


We have to remember that we all are difficult at times and we all have sinned and fallen way short of God standards. That is what the cross is about! That is why it is so important to prepare yourself spiritually and keep your focus on God-not people or situations-so His fruit can work in you.


Prayer is the most important act for us in any manner. Also, remember, your obedience is what counts, not how others respond to you. We are even called to bless these unreasonable people, and we do that by remaining true to His Lordship in our maturity. You cannot be responsible for how others respond and treat you when you are acting in godly character (Romans 12:14-21). Do not let the situation or the bad people get you down, or cause you to compromise biblical precepts or your character! Never close the Bible or neglect prayer; your spiritual journey and your trust and growth in Him will be your anchor to weather the storms. Do not allow yourself to suffer in your spiritual pilgrimage because of someone else. You are still God's special child (Colossians 3:1-4)! Do not let yourself fall to the world's way, regardless of what the other person does. Give them over to God; He is the one who dispenses justice and revenge, not you (Hebrews 12:6)!


These are the times you need to especially control your tongue and attitude. Focus on the Lord, not the situation. Do not allow yourself to get into a pity party so it is all about you; it is not; it is all about Him. You may not be able to do anything to resolve the problem in a relationship, but that does not mean you are to give up-especially in marriage. Your purpose is to take the focus off yourself and onto Christ as Lord. That way, the bitterness and resentment you got from others will not become a virus that affects you! Repentance and reconciliation may still come. Remember His timing; I have seen miracles of reconciliation long after I had given up hope. God is still at work, even when we do not see Him. God may use your character to speak to them down the road; no relationship or attempt at reconciliation is ever wasted in His Kingdom!



Principle Scripter to How to Understand, Solve, and Prevent Conflict: Genesis 4; Psalm 37:4; Proverbs 3:4-6; 18:13; Matthew 5:9; 7:5; 15:18-20; 18: 15-20; Luke 6:27-36; 19:1-9; Romans 8:28-29; 1 Corinthians 6:1-8; 10:31-11:1; 13; Galatians 5; Ephesians 4:22-32; 5:1; Philippians 2:3-6; 4:2-9; Colossians 1:17-20; 3:12-17 James 4:1-3; 1 John 14:15


© 1989, 1998, 2007 R. J. Krejcir Ph.D., Into Thy Word Ministries 

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